I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
