i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
