Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was like eating out sand paper
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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