I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize