hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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