i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
