did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
