Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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