I am full of burrito and curiosity
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
