I'm going to jail i love you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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