yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
