i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
