Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
