This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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