barbara walters just said penis...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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