when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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