Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
