I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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