you win again, gameday.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize