oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
