Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
