we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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