he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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