all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
