Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
