She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
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The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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