We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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