So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
