My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize