omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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