If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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