I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
