You can't motorboat a personality
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
