just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
