Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
