Cold hands, warm shart.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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