He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
