For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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