girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
