You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
