I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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