You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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