i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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