i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
that may or may not have been my penis.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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