he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
