dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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