why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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