i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
