party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
