I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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