i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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