You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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