Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Randomize
