He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had to cum in my sink.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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