Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
