You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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