Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
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This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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