I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
