you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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