I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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