it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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