you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was so not down for the gang bang
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The power of my boobs compel you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
