the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
