This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
